Rebooting SVH? Ugh.

I guess they're rebooting Sweet Valley High for TV? Or talking about it, or thinking about it... but, the Diablo Cody SVH movie still hasn't happened, so probably not. And would it be an 80s/90s nostalgia thing, or would it be completely updated like the new versions of the first few Sweet Valley High books? Because the latter sucks all the fun out of it. I was hoping if Diablo Cody made the movie it would still be 80s.

I remember when SVH the TV series came out, I was like, 12, and was mad that it wasn't Sweet Valley Twins (being that those were the books I read at the time). I was also mad that it listed *some* cities/ stations, but not mine. Like they listed 10-20 stations the show would be on and then just gave up and were like, Check Your Local Listings. It was like they were dissing my city (which at the time was Honolulu, HI and then Charleston, SC). I mean, not really, it's just that before the Internet really got going, it was harder to get information. The TV Guide was print, on paper, and came in the newspaper. Good times.
For an SVT show, I had it all worked out: each book in the main series would be half an hour long, and the "Super Editions" and "Super Chillers" could be hour-long specials (And Magna Editions would be 2-hour long Christmas TV movies?? haha). I mostly just wanted to see the Super Chillers, a la Goosebumps. And surely it wouldn't be too hard to find an 11- or 12-year-old pair of blond twins, even if they didn't have "sparkling blue-green eyes"? That would have been awesome, but instead I had to use my imagination and shit.
Now, obviously I want my parody series to be televised or made into movies, but as we all know, that isn't a thing. Unless I change all the names and pretend it's not fanfiction, like E. L. James did. But then it wouldn't be a parody - removing all the Sweet Valley in-jokes would leave a bizarre story of flakiness, (non-wiccan i.e. pretend/fake) witchcraft and puberty. Whatevs.
I'll keep dreamin', y'all.