Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Sweet Valley Tropes

My audience for these books is very specific: I am targeting women in their 30s who either liked or hated Sweet Valley Books in the mid-eigthties to mid-nineties. However, feel free to read them if you are:
-of any other gender
-that age but only vaguely aware of those books or
-a younger person (well, 13+) looking for a YA horror/ fantasy/humor mashup
and see how it goes. Although I do think you should have some familiarity with Sweet Valley to get the jokes. There were certain elements that were hallmarks of the series. These tropes include:


  • Jessica & Elizabeth LOOK exactly alike but have different personalities. So different that their creator called them "the good and bad sides of one person". Which is kind of an insult to twins. You can write about twins and give them different personalities (and have them be interesting) without commenting on their morality. I guess that isn't EXCITING or EXTREME enough, so we ended up with one twin who was boring and condescending and the other twin was a sociopath. This is more prevalent in Sweet Valley High. In Sweet Valley Twins (where they are 12), these extreme personalities are toned down. But still, Jessica will do something awful to her twin and Elizabeth will smile and say, "I could never be mad at you!" (Ugh). Or she's mad but then they make up by the end of the book. How handy.
  • The twins are the main characters and everyone LOVES them. In Sweet Valley Twins (*and Friends*) there's always some random person who is new to the school or goes to the school already and is being mentioned now, because either Elizabeth is trying to "help" them (the token charity case), or if they're deemed "interesting" enough to be bugged by the Unicorns (Jessica's snobby club), then that happens (either the person is famous or "cool" and the Unicorns fawn all over them, or they're a freak and therefore snubbed by the Unicorns, while simultaneously being befriended/ felt sorry for by Elizabeth.) (This trope comes in handy for inserting my character Piper into the story and having it still feel "real"/SVT.)
  • When supernatural events happen (in the Super Chillers books), the books ends neatly with the twins defeating the ghost/ breaking the curse/ solving the mystery and coming out relatively unscathed in terms of both physical and emotional injury. Then future books pretend nothing happened. (They are Stand-Alone plots). In Sweet Valley High the danger factor was heightened and made more realistic since they were older (i.e. less hauntings and curses, more drug rings, kidnapping, attempted murder).
  • The twins always have money to buy things they want (especially when the item in question is relevant to the plot), despite only being paid in 1980s 12-year-old's allowance (sometimes without even doing their chores! WHAT KIND OF BIZARRO WORLD IS THIS), or else Jessica wants a new purple sweater and makes her parents/Liz buy it for her. In Super Chiller #1, The Christmas Ghost (confusingly both a Christmas story and a ghost story - a la Dickens - PICK A THEME HERE), Elizabeth wants a carousel horse statue (??? why) and Jessica decides she likes it too, and wants ALL THE PRESENTS so she convinces their parents that only she wants it and Elizabeth didn't like it at all. Then 3 Ghosts magically appear to tell Jessica that she's being a bitch, just in time for Christmas morning, so she reforms (but it doesn't last, obviously, because future books pretend like nothing happened/ Jessica is "reset.").
  • Endless sixth grade year, with multiple Halloweens, Christmases, Spring Breaks, and even summer (they never say whether it's the summer before sixth grade or the summer after, weird). Endless school projects too, usually just in time to coincide with something similar happening to the twins outside of school, for a free Learning Experience.
  • When things get dull at Sweet Valley Middle School, a New Student (or Prince/Movie Star in Disguise) always comes to shake things up. Depending on who it is, all future books must incidentally mention that person so we remember they go to this school now. It helps if one of them is friends with Our Stars, the twins. Or if it's a Super Edition/ Super Chiller, then they never have to be mentioned again. (GOOD we didn't like you anyway)
More Tropes in future posts :-)

Saturday, April 4, 2015

New FB Author page...

I made an author page on FB from my regular page... so people (the random, hypothetical people who read my books) can Like... or tell me I'm crap. I feel very exposed.




















 I hope I don't get sued... but... parody laws, right?

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Cover Designs

This is taken from my other blog, put here for handy reference.
>>Also, I'm considering re-designing the covers. I can design better covers than that. (Which is why I'm publishing under a pseudonym, so my former teachers won't be embarrassed.) It's just that my books are parodies of Sweet Valley Twins, and the cover reflects that, using the same dopey fonts, 90s layout, and an illustration in the style of James Mathewuse (who always made the twins in Sweet Valley High look like they were posing for a Sears catalog... and at 12, they're also ridiculously glamorous... or had various fashion mishaps*). I have to think about that more. Probably leave them the way they are for now. But I would love to redesign the covers for shits and giggles, maybe do something minimalist with object imagery instead of illustrated people. That would attract more readers. But they wouldn't know what they're getting into. It would be like a smack in the face. "What is this I don't even".




*Some of my favorites include "Liz's fly is open" (it was rendered in a way that made it look like that) and "Sure, wear a blue headband with a purple shirt... it matches." 
I feel like the Unicorn Club books (the series when the twins were in 7th grade and the Unicorn Club got a humanitarian makeover, and therefore included Elizabeth) was when James Mathewuse lost touch with reality as far as current fashion trends. The girls were often depicted wearing purple socks that matched their shirt when that trend died at least five years prior. Or like a big shirt over tights... maybe it was supposed to be a tunic top over leggings. (Yes, I'm the cover-illustration Fashion Police.)